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Showing posts from February, 2023

things for our little fellow to learn

I've been tossing about a list of things that we could offer Harry by way of learning a hobby. Joe has an interest in online gaming,  ahead building.. Mia,  horseriding. And i could show him sailing,  cycling,  fishing,  gardening.  

Rattled

Our home assessment,  unbeknown to me, unbeknown also an opportunity to talk frankly about Hs history. Initially I was saddened, then i became quite upset.  Knowing some of the father's behaviours, drug dependence & personality, i took safety in keeping the family at arms length. As snippets of the unfolding tragedy were fed through the grapevine,  i just shook my head & pushed it aside.  I knew the department was involved & felt somewhat confident that young H was safe.   But yesterday's information really hammered home how much little H had been through.  What I, as a grown man, was protecting myself from,  he was living it first hand.  And it must be stressed,  the department was less than effective as times & exposed H to emotional- mental & physical harm from his mother.  Right after hearing this I felt heartened that H was surviving well, but later as it sunk in,  I felt very upset, guilty I hadn't been proactive & was drawn to protect him.   I

caseworker visit

today we had our first caseworker visit,  for my adult children to meet the worker & visa versa & for us to learn more about H*. what i unfortunately learned was that H has had way to many placements.  foster care,  grandparents,  aunt,  mother,  foster care,  aunt & now a group home.  The time with his mother was a disaster from the department's pov as well as from Hs. in truth,  the ready placements were stressed by Hs placement in company with his older sisters.  it seems like he suffered due to the policy of placing all siblings & half siblings together.   apparently the half- sisters were returned to their fathers care,  the elder M (16) lives in CH, the younger *?* (14) in central Qld with her Aboriginal father. it's a sad tale for the children. They are now separated,  H doesn't want to see his mother & is ambivalent about contact with his father.  he does want to see his aunt,  her family & their dog. I really hope this works for you my frien

why?

it's a reasonable question to put to someone who wants to become a relative career. it must be very reasonable because a psychologist is coming out soon to ask me why i want to be a carer. a few reasons that have been rumbling around in my head are:- -to support a poor innocent -to invest my caring nature, sense of social justice -i enjoy helping children grow - restore pride in the family name  - to reinvigorate myself with a challenge, to learn & grow - i feel i have a gift for it - i always thought i would take a teenage boy in ţo share what i have,  offer support, protect him.   - for the challenges & rewards,  for J & M & myself

the countdown carer assessment visit

"shit just got real "         "The wilderpeople" movie. with last minute tidying & making safe tasks underway,  i am procrastinating.  well really just having a coffee & reflecting on where i am at in life. happily divorced & with my two children in their early 20s i guess i was looking forward to more "me time". i don't know what that would look like because i haven't had it since early adulthood; there've been partners & an ex- wife that needed support,  my children growing up at home then my ageing mother.  it seems that i've always been there for others. i expect the future will be no different.   at the moment I'm going through the proves of becoming a "relative career" for 11 year old H* whose parents struggle with drug dependency & it's impacts & other relative carers feel by the wayside. when i heard he had been placed in a modern day orphanage, or was going through trauma number ten,  i  ju