Rattled

Our home assessment,  unbeknown to me, unbeknown also an opportunity to talk frankly about Hs history. Initially I was saddened, then i became quite upset.  Knowing some of the father's behaviours, drug dependence & personality, i took safety in keeping the family at arms length. As snippets of the unfolding tragedy were fed through the grapevine,  i just shook my head & pushed it aside.  I knew the department was involved & felt somewhat confident that young H was safe.  

But yesterday's information really hammered home how much little H had been through.  What I, as a grown man, was protecting myself from,  he was living it first hand.  And it must be stressed,  the department was less than effective as times & exposed H to emotional- mental & physical harm from his mother. 

Right after hearing this I felt heartened that H was surviving well, but later as it sunk in,  I felt very upset, guilty I hadn't been proactive & was drawn to protect him.  

I had never been asked to consider care previously.  The dept wanted to keep him close to his birth family i suppose & he had his two older sisters in tow.  There's no way i could have survived that workload as the sisters have a different father who identifies as Aboriginal. They also ha drive behavioural issues.  

So,  I guess now is the time. Arrangements with parental contact area set in stone,  his sisters are with their community & H has figured things out pretty well. 

My pain is nothing compared to Hs, but as my children & I witnessed this story telling,  our compassion towards him bloomed. 

We need to proceed slowly during the transition & trust that it goes well.