foster carer numbers are down
Not to burden anyone with my issues, more to unburden myself of these issues by writing them out. Here goes..
Okay. On my broader familt, there is a wing that has been delving in darkness; drug use, unruly teens, metal health, crime, biker gang membership and suicide. The media make movies about this shit, but being on the fringes of it in real life is bewildering and frankly drives me speechless. There's stuff gone on in the family branch that no-one will ever know about.
One of the byproducts of a brief, probably distasteful, sexual encounter. This occurred in a drug rehab oremtal health ward, I dont know. The issue of this encounter was immediately placed on Care where he has remained for the previous 12 years. Unfortunately, these arrangements have been unstable, volatile and not much publicized.
In January this year word spread that this "poor boy" needed urgent placement as his host family, his aunt, husband and three teens, were in conflict and at risk of breakdown. Having worked on child welfare and being at a lose end, I put hand up. My assumptions were that there had been shortcomings in various placements and the kid needed some rural quiet in a small but tight family of nondrinkers and "well meaners".
He arrives, small in stature, polite in nature, with a big box of pills with his own professional support network. Very soon after there were mid-night meanderings, food hoarding and gentle fibbing*. (*A much used euphemism for stealing). All expected symptoms from a tumultuous and troubled past which, with steady support should fade away. Or so I thought.
Over subsequent months he created a mountain of dramas based on continual lying, stealing, constant negative attention seeking and school bullying. More recently, the words of his psychologist echo, "I'm glad he's being a good boy for you". At the time I thought it was odd because psychologists are routinely positive towards even more testing patients. But here was the region's lead child psych. describing him as a badly behaved child. I see know what was meant. Living with having to lock internal doors, using electronic beepers and constant vigilance to monitor his movements and still experiencing thefts from every room in the house ... and a littany of lies, reports of a bullying smaller kid with disabilities, has changed my mind. In the past I would have believed that kids with his history were mimicking their loved environments, but the reality is, that he's been on care all these years, I've exhaisted my supply of stories with good morals on him, and he still chooses to do wrong. In his pwm words: "Good is boring"! Well, being nothing short of evil is tiring on everybody else. When asked about stealing, he quietly fawns, if pushed he will sometimes admit that he has " always done it". When asked about bullying the littlest kid in school, he heaps scorn on said kid, as if he deserved what he got. Always, when corrected, chastised or issued consequences, he can provide ready reasons why the teacher or carer got it wrong, or is being too harsh.
So, the situation is, despite security monitoring and endless lectures he steals from the personal possessions of everyone on the house continially. Lies about anything and everything, and constantly tries to upset and not learn household routines and regular ways of doing things. And if you take steps tk admonish or punish, you're made out to be in the wrong. I now realise what the psych was offering me.
